Aussie Lynn Downunder...

Spring in Melbourne, Australia...

2011-10-08T17:56:00.000-07:00

Spring is definately here in Melbourne, Australia.

Looking west along my street with its new spring leaves on the old , l think they are burnt maple trees, l will have to look into that again.

Beautiful pink bottlebrush.

Chinese Lantern, l am told these are...

Fushias...

Red geranium....

Lavender.

Mepac machine.

Morning glory.

Geranium...

Shhhh....

2011-01-09T06:53:00.000-08:00

Woke at 4.30am; l had only had four hours sleep, my dry nose woke me and l had to get up, and have a few cups of tea to un-dry my face...hassle.
l'm up before any day nose. The first bird hasnt made a sound just yet.
All l hear is the fan l put on to cool my room down a bit; yes its hot here this week. We still have a lot more hot days to come just yet down here in melbourne australia.
Soon the traffic will take over my peace, but until then l wish to share my silence.

Just and ordinary day...

2010-06-10T05:32:00.000-07:00

Was just an ordinary day today.
waking was the same as usual, ...slow, and the waiting for the feet and legs and brain to work together.
Made the coffee, toast, and sat on the puter until my eyes cleared lol.
lt was payday today, and the cupboards were almost bare.
l could have gone locally for my groceries, but for some reason, l was feeling homesick for where l had been living for the past two and a half decades.
Around three in the afternoon, l left this lovely new home, and drove to the chemist, got what l needed, and over to glenhuntly.
My timing for the traffic was perfect, until l went into the main street of carnegie.
A train had broken down, and l sat there all patient, until l couldnt sit there at the gates any longer.
l drove the long way around via the CIT building and under the via duct.
l found a disabled parking spot straight away, woopie.
A lady had been waddling up with her trolley and l asked if l could take it off her hands, and handed her one dollar.
Safeway make u put a dollar in the trolley lock...
l had been busting for a pee, and from memory, that safeway had its own loo. Well, l mistaken, and l was there, and wasnt going to look around for a loo, so l held onto it.
Did the basic shopping, came to 136 dollars.. not bad. spose.
l had only had two slices of toast all day, l wasnt all that hungry. but on the way back from glenhuntly, l thought l best pop into maccas in chaddy..and use their loo...
bliss.
l got some chips, and drove over to mums.
She went mad at me for turning up so late. - damned if u do, damned if u dont -...
so l told her it was the trains fault.
She was mad that l didnt ring her.
Mind u the traffic was full on, the train getting stuck put all my timing out, and l was stuck in peak traffic.
so l took her abuse, had a cuppa and came home to carry ten bags of groceries, up eleven steps.
As l said, and ordinary day.
but l got my homesick feeling all fixed up.
now lm back at my new home.
...

l Exist - Good Morning.

2010-06-09T01:10:00.000-07:00

l thought l would sleep on today, there wasnt a reason to get up early, all l would do is go on the computer, nothing would get done, so l just slept on.
Finally my tired old back said, l cant lay here anymore, we must get up, so l did. l rolled over to the side of the bed, placed my feet on the carpet, leveled them out, and sat up as straight as l could. l opened my eyes, blinked, and looked around at the level of light in my room. l looks like afternoon. l then attempted to stand, holding onto the wall, until my body balanced on my overworked feet, l leant against the wall for more balance.
l started around the bed to the bathroom, not feeling that l needed to, because l had been up several times in the last six hours of sleep.
The afternoon sun was pouring through my high windows, and l smiled.
Next l had to turn the cpap off, organise those pieces, and then around the old huge bed, and into the kitchen.
l pressed the button for the heater, opened the lounge window a little, then into the kitchen.
l put the coffee on, and then over to the computer, turned it on, and allowed it time to heat up...
All of a sudden it started to rain on my south windows! l looked a little closer, its hail! shut the windows, and watched for a bit while the coffee was perking and the puter was heating.
Rain looks lovely running down a window.
So back into the kitchen, and made the coffee, put on some toast and back to the puter.
l rang mum, cos she has an ear problem that makes her dizzy, and she has to take several stemitel...sp.. and if she doesnt get it in time, shes in bed. she got it in time. poor mum...shes seventy eight this year, and still fiesty.
dads just waiting for his right hip to slip out he says...yesterday he felt like ninety five instead of eighty four...
Okay, back to make the second coffee, take the pills.
lve decided l will do a course of B12..l do feel better for it.
and of course the diabetic pills metformin. l dont think theyre doing anything, but the dr says keep taking them.
l mean, if l behave, lm a normal number...l dont need the pills , but l shall do as lm told.
lve been taking lovan for over a decade now, and seem to be addicted to them, they do cut my stress and panicky feelings..so l take them. l have however again almost stopped the muralax, - muscle relaxents, although l cheated last night, and took half a one.
The hail stopped shortly after it began, and the afternoon sun came out, l silently laughed to myself, and said, phtt, melbourne.
Soon l shall start on the basic chores, and shower, and be ready for whatever the evening brings me.....it doesnt bring me much at all lol of late, but its nice to be clean and fresh, even if its just for me.
...

So very quiet.

2010-03-09T16:39:00.000-08:00

Woke to a very quiet day.

So quiet, l could hear my heart beat in my ears.

Not a sound,

Not even a bird sound.

Spooky grey sky...

January 1st 2010.

2010-01-01T02:40:00.000-08:00

The evening of January 1st

Spent sitting in my doorway

Listening and watching a summer thunderstorm

The air is warm,

The rain sounds great.

Dusk.

2009-12-07T23:28:00.000-08:00

The evening has set in.

The lamp is on.

The blinds are open,

to watch the night arrive.

Silent for a Moment...

2009-11-15T23:41:00.000-08:00

A crow squawks, and flys into the distance... a car slows down to go over a speed bump, and revs up and drives on.

l hold my head, partly covering my ears, l am silent for a moment.. l hear the slow ticking of the wall clock, and birds in the distance...

A dove calls to its partner,
while city noises continue.

Diabetes/Blood Sugar.

2009-11-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

l found this on dr mercola, and thought it a very simple way of explaining diabetes, and what we have to do.... I was told about all the problems my diabetes could cause, but nobody explained why. Had someone explained these things to me, I might have tried harder to do what I had been told to do. Complications from diabetes come on over time, and damage has often started before we realize something is wrong. The belief that "as long as I feel well I must be well" does not hold true for the complications of diabetes; they come on quietly. Cardiovascular System The heart actually has the largest blood vessels in the body so why is it damaged? First of all, it is the job of the heart to pump the thick, sticky blood through all the narrowed vessels in the body. That is like canoeing in Jell-O compared with canoeing in water. The heart also has many small vessels that feed and nourish it. When blood sugars are high, they do not get the circulation they need. So not only are we asking the heart to work twice as hard, we are depriving it of nutrition to give it strength. Cardiovascular Disease is the most common cause of death in people with diabetes. But there are support and therapy strategies that have been proven effective. Nerve Damage and Disease Amputations and ulcers, especially in the feet, are more frequent in patients with poorly controlled diabetes. Decreased circulation to feet and legs leads to damage and loss of nerve function. The nerves lose their ability to sense pain, pressure, touch, or temperature correctly, which results in tingling and numbess of the feet and toes (fingers, too). This condition is called peripheral neuropathy. Autonomic neuropathy occurs when there is nerve damage affecting the automatic processes in your body such as heart rate or sweating, so they do not work as they should. The stomach may not process food correctly. The heart rate or blood pressure does not speed up or slow down in response to exercise, exertion, rest, standing, or sitting. Autonomic neuropathy also contributes to the absence of chest pain with heart attack, and can cause sweating at inappropriate times or in specific areas, leaky bladder, pupils that do not constrict or dilate as needed, sexual dysfunction, and decreased ability to sense an infection or hypoglycemia. If you already have numbness in your feet, is there any point to controlling blood sugars? Absolutely. Numbness and burning in the feet are signs that nerves have been damaged. Evidence has shown that nerves, when only damaged, can learn to trasmit messages through different pathways. If your feet are so completely numb that you cannot tell where they are because you cannot feel them, managing your blood sugars most likely will not get any sensation back. But it can prevent the numbness and nerve damage from spreading farther up your leg. And controlling your blood sugars will give your damanged nerves and your immune system a fighting chance to help your feet stay healthy. Vision Problems Retinopathy, macular edema, glaucoma, and cataracts are the more common eye disorders related to diabetes. Eye disease is typically progressive, and there are usually no symptoms until damage has occurred. You may have 20/20 vision yet one day have complete vision loss due to a hemorrhage. This is the reason a yearly eye exam is so important. An eye doctor will be able to see the changes occurring before vision is at risk. Laser surgery can destroy the abnormal vessels in the eye and prevent their regrowth. So What's The Good News? Believe it or not, there is some good news. The whole process of long-term complications started with sticky red blood cells. The good news is that red blood cells only live two to three months. That means that in three months of keeping your blood sugar levels nearer to normal, you have a whole new set of unsticky red blood cells. This turnover eliminates the cops, slow cars, and semi-trucks from the freeway, and prevents further damage to the road. When blood sugar levels come down, the stickiness decreases on the walls of the arteries and veins, and triglycerides and cholesterol levels are reduced. So where lanes of traffic were closed, we now have open roads. Where damage has been done, we may not be able to repair it, but with improved control, we can prevent further complications and slow or stop the progress of any existing ones. Keeping blood sugars close to normal is the best way to prevent complications. Unlike genetics, age, or sex, it is the one component we have some control over.

Feels like Summer...

2009-10-19T20:33:00.001-07:00

l woke to the sound of wind in the trees.

l walked outside to feel the breeze.

The sun was at 11am,

The shadows and sunlight through the last tree on the concrete, was a pleasure to see.

l walked against the warm wind to save my washing from the line.

The wind was so strong it pushed my trolley and peg bucket to the other side of the yard ..lol..
l smiled and sleepily walked to bring them back to the line, but put them in a different place...

The breeze, the warmth, and coffee waiting for me, when the job was done.

l rescued two loads, and brought them inside.

Needed a coffee because of my morning thirst.

l sat here, had my first coffee, and will get the rest of the washing soon.

The sky is once again blue.

The wind is warm.

The washing is dry.

Good Morning from Downunder...

Stop Watch...

2009-10-13T06:20:00.000-07:00

You know;
Lately life has been so easy.
A doctor helped stop being so queezy.
l have re found the youth inside,
and cannot stop, my legs are taking me for a ride.

l know, l know, lm not young anymore,
but something nice is at my door.
l shall use it for all its might..
and hope l dont fall down with fright.

l am a hermit, that is right.
l time everything l do,
even chatting to you...
have a nice day.

Travelling the world from one spot.

2009-09-23T10:18:00.000-07:00

walls, old paint.
lights without covers.
glaring, too bright.
drafts.

thinking back,
to abodes before;
comparing.

have done a lot of moving around,
and havent been anywhere.

...

lm going to attempt to explain the last line.
..
l drove a taxi for two decades,
l came across a lot of people,
from all the different countries of the world.
l learnt about the people via this job.

lve never really had the urge to physically travel,
because l feel that lve met the world, via that job.

Thoughts...

2009-09-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

sometimes my mind goes on holidays...

and sometimes, it never comes back lol...

there are moments and feelings l cannot recall of late...

l guess thats life, l shall take it as it comes...

Angles- Today was a lovely sunny day, l had slept in , as usual, and there was only an hour of sun left lol.... so l took the opportunity to see what

2009-09-15T03:20:00.000-07:00

Friendship.

2009-09-03T23:29:00.000-07:00

Friendship isnt about whom you have known the longest.

lts about who came, and never left your side.

As night falls

2009-09-02T02:55:00.000-07:00

The sun is on my back, the evening is creeping in...

The moon is in the blue dusk sky... the air outside is lovely..

Night descends, street lights come on...

Dark sky, neighbours home and quiet.

The hum of the suburbs has slowed.

lts true, we dont listen....- a poem.

2009-09-01T03:15:00.000-07:00

While we can’t make it perfect, or repair all of it, we do have the power to make our corner a better place.

.........................

its true, we dont listen.

then we go thru all those silly deep and meaningfuls,

get bored with that, and come back, and wish we had listened,

cos rebellion was boring.. and yes as much as l tried to change the world, l couldnt, and never will be able too.

all l can do is change my world to a better place.. and by doing that, l make a better place for those ppl around me.

August 13. 2009. Spring.

2009-08-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

l can feel it!

like a sweetness all around me.

warmth,soft air,

l know the moment spring is here.

lts unmistakable.

Melbourne Australia August 13. 2009. Spring.

2009-08-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

The first day of spring

All the streets were lined with blossoms.

Midnight.

2009-08-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

I just walk around at midnight...

lts so quiet out there.

You dont really know how noisy the day is

until it stops

Well, it doesnt stop.
There are ppl and vehicles around all the time at night.

l looked up at each end of the street, and imagined l was a tiny street in the middle of nowhere.

l was quite refreshing.

Gone.

2009-07-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

my heart

ls so deeply

locked away

no more

does it see

the light of day...

I REFLECT...

2009-07-13T02:21:00.000-07:00

I REFLECT. july 09.

As l travel through a quiet day of gentleness,
warm in front of my fire, l reflect.
l no longer mourn the past, or the people l no longer see.
l still love to hear a good blues, soothing slow guitar, hammond organ,bass,and a good drummer.

l have had a good life,
had a few falls, but not deep enough that l couldnt get out.
l wonder sometimes, how l got this far in life.
l am one step away from poverty, l hold fast.
l am very grateful for a roof over my head,
and a bed to sleep in.

l have given up complaining about the little things.
l have finally started thinking about others, and how their lives arent easy either.
l love to understand now.
l walk through life quietly...

lm half way through life, and yet l still feel young.
age seems to be but a number.
l reflect. There are no regrets.
l still have another fifty years to enjoy.

So l sit and think of what has been,
and make plans for what will be.

Wednesday Morning, 12.45am...l went for a drive to someone l know, and on the way home...

2009-07-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight;
l looked to the sky.
All so very dark.
A Full Moon; so round and white.
Shone brightly,
So clean, white on black.

As l walked out of my neighbours front door,
l looked at the trees, hovering over me.
They say you cant see colour at night,
I see all shades of green on the trees and bushes.

l love to see just trees at night,
A torch for light,

Trees, giant lungs.
Veins going in all directions.
Sound of wind through the leaves,
Makes the music so sweet.

My little walk has stopped.
l now enclosed in metal.

Heat from my body from being out in the cold,
has fogged every window.
Turn the key,
Sits ...

Finally, there is another view.
Of roads and streetlights.
Travelling smoothly, l see orange and green,
Fake light, to make it all pretty.

Almost home, with each turn of the wheel.
To arrive at my prison,
So clean and tidy.

Once again, the comfort of home,
The warmth l have built,
For my very own.

Orwell's 1984: His Sinister Vision is Almost Reality -- Signs of the Times News

2009-06-17T00:56:00.000-07:00

Orwell's 1984: His Sinister Vision is Almost Reality -- Signs of the Times News: "http://www.sott.net/articles/show/186829-Orwell-s-1984-His-Sinister-Vision-is-Almost-Reality"

Poems without names.

2009-04-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

Poems without names.

lts not very often l wake feeling empty, but today l did.
l had two thoughts in my brain, and jotted them down...
these poems have no names.
..............................................

l have not found you yet

l use everything to take your place

l over indulge all things

where are you.

l have great passion

being wasted on superficial things and thoughts.

where are you.

...............................................................

can l stand alone with me...

do for myself?

while l know you are there

l need to be able to see if l can stand and be strong,

without my crutches in life.

as l turn u off and out for a moment

l sense a strength and freedom

l know you all are there

l need to be free.

l step out of the care bubble l have allowed myself to be in,

out of life security.

lts scary, and invigorating.

l dont mean to be mean

l dont feel meanness at all

l just want to be with me and my strengths

lf l find l cant

l know youre there.

Juana lnes de la Cruz

2009-04-09T10:10:00.000-07:00

Juana Inés de la Cruz

Apr 9, '09 10:12 AM
for everyone

Category:

Other

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sor_Juana

....
Sor Juana was born (November 12, 1658. Some biographers record her birth year as [1648,] – April 17, 1695).

She was known as Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz, and also by her full name: Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz de Asbaje (or Asuaje) y Ramírez de Santillana

Sor Juana was a self-taught Novohispana scholar, nun, poet, and a writer of the Baroque school. Though she lived in a post-conquest era when Mexico was colonized by Spain, she is considered a Mexican writer, and a precursor to later Mexican literature.

Life and Literary Production

During a time when bloodlines strictly dictated class and status, Juana de Asbaje y Ramirez Santillana began life as the illegitimate daughter of a nobleman. Her mother came from the small village of San Miguel de Nepantla, near Amecameca (modern-day México State). Her grandfather had acquired property there, and so Juana was raised in village life.

She was a gifted child who hid in the hacienda chapel to read her grandfather's books from the adjoining library, something forbidden to girls. She taught herself Latin before she was ten years old- and would cut off a lock of hair each time she forgot something. By adolescence, she had mastered Greek logic, and at age thirteen she was teaching Latin to young children.

In 1664, at age sixteen, Juana was sent to live in Mexico City, and came under the tutelage of the Vicerreine Leonor Carreto, wife of Antonio Sebastian de Toledo, Marquis de Mancera.

In 1667, she entered the Convent of the Discalced Carmelites of St. Joseph, but only remained there briefly. In 1669, she entered the Convent of the Order of St. Jerome where she would remain until her death.[1]

There is ongoing debate by some moderns, questioning whether she had a personal romantic life, as love is often nuanced in her poems, and her language is often a sensory and sometimes seeming ecstatic one. Coming from poetic traditions in pre-conquest Mexico wherein poetry was high art --and relationship with the gods was often spoken about in terms of erotic lyricism-- and too, with the Spanish overlay of the great Catholic saints who portrayed themselves as "lovers with God" and "brides of Christ," etc., the debate continues about whether her writings are literal or allegorical.

In her time, the convent was the only refuge in which a female could properly attend to education of her mind, spirit, body and soul. In Sor Juana's era, educating girls was not only non-existent, but often considered by Spanish prelates to be the dark work of the Devil.

Nonetheless, Sor Juana wrote literature centered on freedom. In her poem "Redondillas" she defends a woman's right to be respected as a human being. In "Hombres necios" (Stubborn men), she criticizes the sexism of the society of her time, poking fun at and revealing the hypocrisy of men who publicly condemn prostitutes, yet privately pay women to perform on them what they have just said is an abomination to God.

Sor Juana's asks the sharp question in this ages old matter of the purity/whoredom split found in base male mentality: 'Who sins more, she who sins for pay? or he who pays for sin?'

Developing her themes further, she wrote a romantic comedy entitled Los empeños de una casa about a brother and a sister entangled in webs of love, elucidating the themes of love and jealousy. She did not moralize, but rather, in the spirit of her lifetime interests, inquired of how these deeply emotional matters shaped and carved a woman's pursuit of liberty, knowledge, education and freedom to live her life in self-sovereignty.

Her independent thinking alarmed and angered the oligarchy of the Roman Catholic Church, for it sawed away at the fundamental idea that women are to serve and not to think; they are to be unpaid or lowly adjuncts to princes of the Church and Spanish royalty. Her 'thinking out loud' was especially dangerous because the Counter Reformation was raging. Anyone who challenged societal values and ecclesiastical dogma could be marked by the Church as a heretic, and thereby harmed by the Church bearing false witness against the person; by the Church silencing them; forcing them into penitence, or else stripping them of property and assets, including those of one's family; they could be tortured, exiled, imprisoned or murdered.

Matters came to a head in 1690, when a letter was published attacking Sor Juana's focus on the sciences, and suggesting that she should devote her time to soft theology.

However, powerful representatives from the Spanish court were her mentors and she was widely read in Spain, being called "the Tenth Muse." She was lauded as the most prominent poet of the post-conquest American Continent. Her work was printed by the first printing press of the American Continent in Mexico City.

In response to clergy who sought to reprimand her, Sor Juana wrote a letter entitled Respuesta a Sor Filotea (Reply to Sister Filotea,) in which she defended women's right to any education they desired. The Catholic Church, via the Archbishop of Mexico joined other high-ranking officials in condemning Sor Juana's "waywardness."

By 1693, Sor Juana seemingly ceased writing rather than risk further Church censure. However, there is no undisputed evidence of her renouncing devotion to letters, though there are documents showing her agreeing to self-humiliation. Her name is affixed to such a document in 1694, but given her deep natural lyricism, the tone of these supposed hand-written penitentials is rhetorical and autocratic Church formulae- one signed, "Yo, la peor de todas" (I, the worst of all).

She is said to have sold all her books then, an extensive library of over 4,000 volumes... her musical and scientific instruments as well. According to some investigators, her books of her own works were burnt by the Inquisition as she was forced into silence by Church hierarchy.

Only a few writings remain which are known as the "Complete Works." According to Octavio Paz, Sor Juana's writings were saved by the Viceroy's wife. Some sources have speculated they were lovers. In April 1695, after ministering to the other sisters struck down by a rampant plague, she is said to have died at four in the morning on April 17.
...
l know we arent supposed to cut and paste from sites,
but l found this really intersting...
l adore reading about the first women to do things,
especially sticking it up males...lol...
so l hope u find it interesting as l did.

Tags: women, mexico, church, first woman

Monday Morning...

2009-04-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

l was having a good unbroken sleep, until l heard a bee with a nasal problem at my window.
l knew what it was.
THE MONDAY MORNING GARDENER.
l rolled back over and went to sleep.

Next l know lm holding a damful of water l thought would overflow if l didnt get out of bed soon.

with eyes closed l did my best to get this semi elderly lady to at least sitting position, and able to hold the overflow.

my joints felt like a truck had hit them during the night, and slowly, ever so slowly talked them into working.

my face felt like grease proof paper, and had to be wiped or else my hand would have slid off it.

time to stand.
my feet cursed me.
my legs and hips ducked for verbal cover, each doing their best to stand on the complaining feet.

ln their delicate condition they made the unbalanced way to the bathroom.
eyes still closed, and feeling my way, l made it just before the flow had a mind of its own.
sat quickly, very quickly, and let the gush go free.
ahh..

now l opened my eyes...
someone had glued them shut...
l sat there until l focused.

stood up with aching truck hit back, balanced on old and tired feet,
l could feel all of my bones trying to adjust to standing position,
and made my way to the kitchen to make a brew of that black drink we call coffee.

while waiting l looked at the clock...half eleven am.
l had to be across the city before half three pm.

the coffee machine groaned and trickled and groaned some more.
my machine sounds constipated....groan,push,drips,groan....

eventually the black stuff was ready.
my hands not quite awake yet, had to concentrate on the pouring into the my cup.

made my way to the computer with cup in hand while concentrating on not dropping it with my hands that have trouble gripping now a days, and sat here and drank it...

GOOD MORNING....

PAVED PARADISE.

2009-04-05T02:05:00.000-07:00

Box Hill in Melbourne Australia,1957, was the year my family moved into the suburb.

We were the only house for a mile or so, and all around us was open land.

Our main road was one road. and gravel.

Our street was dirt, with pot holes.

The milkman and his horse would come past at 3am every morning, and you would hear the bottles rattling, and hooves of the horse.

There were so many gumtrees,you could hear them swaying in the wind, long grass also.

A creek not far away, we could hear the water trickling.

Horses in paddocks without a chain.

Yabbies in little natural pools.
Tadpoles, Frogs.

.......................
Now its all built up.

A concrete jungle.

My Pear Creation.

2009-04-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

Was a day
When the sun was out
was a day
when pears were ripe

There Is A Way by Gary R. Ferris

2009-02-18T10:11:00.000-08:00

There is a Way by Gary R. Ferris

There is a way,

Which seems right unto man;

But the end there of,

Will kill if it can.
*****

You seek and strive,

To realize your dreams;

Rising up early,

Will bring wealth it seems.
*****

The first one there,

And last to leave;

Hard work brings prosperity,

Is what you believe.
*****

You outshine them all,

As you climb to the top;

The late nights and dedication,

Never seem to stop.
*****

Cars, clothes, and goods,

And all you desire;

Keep filling your house,

As you begin to tire.
*****

All that you’ve gained,

Now controls you;

You can’t quit now,

Until you fill the shoe.
*****

People you loved,

Seem distant away;

Too blind to see,

By the game that you play.
*****

Those who helped you,

Get where you are;

You no longer notice,

The size of their scar.
*****

All in one day,

It seems to go away;

All that you loved,

When you started your way.
*****

Haven’t I done right,

By seeking my goals?

Why is all crumbling,

And my heart like coal.
*****

I sought things,

And pushed people aside;

Blind to their cares,

Of myself to abide.
*****

I feel betrayed,

By all that I’ve done;

By all the hard work,

Under the sun.
*****

How could I fail,

I thought I was right?

All of these things,

Keep me from sleep at night.
*****

There is a way,

Which seems right unto man;

But the end there of,

Will kill if it can.
*****

Written 01-17-04

Melbourne Fires...

2009-02-14T19:44:00.000-08:00

l have tried to imagine
How those poor people on the mountain feel.
l have never been caught is a fire situation before.
lve only had trouble with water.

but these poor people.
the fright, the fear.
thinking or knowing they were going to die.
the pain of the heat.

the fading in and out of life.
their lungs, the body functions.
the depression, the pain.
my heart cries for them.
others lives are and can be worse than mine.

l shall pray for them to have great strength.

The love of a good kind man...poem

2008-11-22T04:45:00.000-08:00

The love of a good kind man.

There aint nothin more in the world that a woman needs more
than the love of a good kind man.

she can go on day after day trying her best
wearing herself out and down,
tired and wearing a frown.

A good man is so hard to find,
values of steel
bringing her mind in like a fishing reel.

He gives her strength
he gives her the power,
days become easier
hips become sleazier.

Telephone - poem -

2008-11-17T05:07:00.000-08:00

Deep, Deep, Sleep.
Ringing bells invade!
Comfort disturbed...
Blackness.
Now pictures!
Where is the noise!
Climbing,climbing,
Over the edge,
Down on the floor.

Cold against my ear.
A loving familiar voice.
Lay back and collapse.
Voice in ear, close the eyes,
Let it talk, try and concentrate.
The voice asks a question!
Eyes! Open! Think! Oh! Mm!
Oh! Youre awake!
Throw the doona off
Thats tied around you,
Now youre up!
Now the voice wants to go.

You look at the pillow,
Then the window,
Now the clock,
Deep breath,
Try to stand.
Walk to the bathroom.

Eyes sticky,
Throat dry,
Back stiff.
Sit and organize the day.

Hot coffee,
Hot shower,
Warm clothes.
Sunny day,
l smile at the mirror,
And thank god
For another day.

A Poem. ( Death-Loss )

2008-11-13T21:36:00.000-08:00

lt is so hard to lose someone.
the ache of wanting them back, and knowing its impossible.
to have found the right person, and situation, to have it taken.

afraid youll never find another like him.
to hold onto what sat right with you.
we can talk to them, in our quiet moments and dreams.
and feel them close, and feel like we are home.

we dont search for this sadness, this emptiness.
this ache.
tis hard to move on from a place we searched so hard to find.
yes, life does go on.

one day, you will be with him once again.
he would not want you to hurry through this lifetime, to do just that.
he wants you to love life, and love him.
he is there with you, and will do with you, whatever u choose to do with life.

Good Morning...

2008-10-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

Slowly l stir
eyes still closed
l make a move to the side of my bed
sleep persperation on said t shirt
l remove it from my body
eyes still closed.

Still breathing the sleep breathe
l reach for a dry t shirt
eyes still closed

l feel my feet
try to straighten
and bones find a balance
l open my eyes.

l wish l could see
through a huge window
fields of green
l look at blank walls.

l try to stand
balance best l can
one foot forward
then the next

the light of day
coming thru the bathroom window
makes me cringe.

l sleep walk
to the kitchen
automatically find my cup
fill it with water
from the tap
fill coffee maker

my coffee jar
is almost empty
l reach for the new one

twas a larger packet
l bought on special

awkwardly l fill said jar
l try to be tidy
still half asleep
eyes are open
just.

the coffee is perking
the smell is great
looking forward
to the first cup.

back at the kitchen bench
l sleepily fill the coffee jar
from the family pack
l miss a few times
sigh...
just keep doing it lynn
youll get there.

coffee is perked
l pour the blackness
take a sniff...
sleepily back to the bench
time for the powdered milk
l spill that too.

takes a deep breath
looks at my mess
vows to clean up later.

with coffee in hand
l walk balance to my favourite chair
sit and enjoy.

Who am l ?

2008-10-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

lve always done people jobs.

l was always good at my jobs.
l wasnt afraid of people.
l wasnt afraid of the boss.
l was afraid of losing my job,
which happened frequently,
cos l stood up to others.
And that means the boss too.

My parents were strict,
and yet loving.

l worked for bosses until l was around 22.
l had had enough, and truelly didnt
understand why l kept being sacked.

Well, u say, it was my attitude...
of course it was, but l didnt know why
l had that attitude.
- at the time -...

Finally, my mother and l decided l could do
a driving job.
this meant working for myself.
yes, lm capable.

l worked a courier van around Melbourne for 3 yrs.
then moved onto driving a taxi around melb.
l lasted in the taxi business about 17 yrs.
then into the job on the other side - despatcher-.

this radio job lasted about seven yrs,
then computers came in and l lost my job.
( l think l kept this job a long time, cos the job
consists of telling ppl where to go....lol.)

Now l was on the dole.
l had just bought a house.
l had no job, and only welfare to keep me.
l lost the house.

l decided there and then, l wasnt going to work again.
Some of the drivers l had gotten to know while driving,
are musicians,
l started going out with them at night.

There was one singer in particular l always wanted to meet.
one of those drivers knew that person.
He (lan ferguson ) took me to the Dutch Tilders gig...

l was out and about at night with musos.

As a child l was always singing.
yes u guessed it, it was the start of my musical era.
During this time, l was slowly wearing down.
On the dole, l didnt care, and neither did anyone else.

The dr in a few yrs to come, put my on an anti depressant,
and a muscle relaxent.
l did calm down, and found that l really couldnt work,
and being the kind of person who didnt admit freely to
failure, l asked the dr if l could go on a pension.
He could see that l was just tired,and couldnt deal with things.
He kindly did allow that.

To this day, lm still on those medications.
and the pension.

l guess l just got what l call, ' peopled out '.
l dont go amongst ppl now unless l have to.

Oh god, lve Raved again, and lm not even bent.
now what was the question...oh yes...
...
Sagittarius:

You have less fear of strangers than most people and today brings you even farther out into the world! It's a great day to strike up random conversations with strangers and see where they lead.
...
My fear of ppl...yes that was the point of this rave...
l guess lm lucky lve not had a fear of ppl.
lve always been able to look after myself.
l didnt have a fear, but l have come thru life with an irritation factor.
l dont fear, l get angry, or used to.
l wouldnt know now, cos lm not out there anymore...and glad lol.

Even driving the taxi at night,
l had no fear.
lf anything, l cared for the ppl in my taxi..
strange hey.
l had a following of ppl who only wanted me.
they said l was 'more human?'

Anyway, to this day, l dont have a fear of ppl.
l do have a fear of losing the roof over my head,
and my wheels is all...

l guess the moral of the story is ..
do not fear, get angry?
no?
yes?
well how about , dont get angry , get even.?
no yes.
none of the above...
l just plodded along being natural.

Crumbs in my Bellybutton.

2008-10-05T00:13:00.000-07:00

l sit
crumbs in my bellybutton
has life come to this
sitting half naked in front of the screen
drink
l do not
smoke
l do not
messy l have become
shakes shirt to free a mess to the floor
coffee
out of the same mug
not a mug
a shaker
a shaker with a lost lid
not attractive
sits
heater blowing
listens to outside noise
a boy bouncing a ball
cars coming and going
birds flying past
yelling
listens to abc classic radio
wipes crumbs from face
they fall to the floor
the clock says four pm
the sun is behind me
l see the reflexion on the screen
l should be out there
lm not
lm sitting here
listening to opera singers
sound
the heater fan so loud
feet cold
need water over me
need clean clothes
need to start the day
yesterday
wore me out
l must push forward
l hurt
order order
l mentally slap
has it come to this
surrounded by dust
l crave a big garden just for me
a box is where l am
need to mentally expand
l should drive to the beach
there my mind can stretch
only to come back to the dusty box
l rock
in a fetal position
l hold my head
coffees almost done
stale bread
vegemite
heater fan sound too loud
earplugs day
turns up abc
to drown out noise
books stacked
must be read
dust dust dust
cold feet
water
silent scream
inside my box
red and green
green and red
hahahaha
christmas all year round
l lay back
rest my head
close my eyes
stretch my cold legs
darkness
sweet darkness
l dream
for just a minute
relief
a harp plays on abc
dark harp
so sweet
so soothing
l brush crumbs
to the floor
my order is different
where has the old order gone
set in my ways
crumbs are wrong
on the floor
there are no birds
to pick them up
a pressure
living in a box
so much to do
too close
closes eyes
sits in a field
breathes
tension releases
astral
l watch me
sitting
so much space
so quiet
no heater or cars
or children bouncing balls
the harp plays on
coffee has set in
lm awake
lm fed once again
will tomorrow be the same

Astral.

2008-10-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

l can rise from small places.
above and hover.
l can expand my mind into larger places.
l can fly over all.

l bless the place of sleep.
l can make contact better
when in bed under warm blankets
in darkness.

blessed is the food l eat.
for it's energy
helps me to be in contact with you.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift

2008-09-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my parent!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ..... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!

DARK HEART.

2008-08-23T00:46:00.000-07:00

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Dark Heart - A Poem about sexual child abuse, written by myself.
Current mood: sad
Category: Writing and Poetry

Dark Heart

Dark Heart,
ln this bright city tonight,
love on the doorstep,
things not so right,
they call it passion
they call it love
the power of this
ls just push and shove.
No more playing
No more fun
All her life is just riding on the gun.

Walking this sidewalk
As lonely as sin
Thinking 'bout the way
life might have been.
Taking the breath from one that trusted
Like farmyard tool lain waste and gone rusted.
No more playing
No more fun,
All her life is just riding on the gun.

She didnt look her profession
kept every stray cat guessin
fooled u in every avenue
she knew one day youd be in the que
No more playing
No more fun
All her life is just riding on the gun.

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A STORY ABOUT FRIENDS.

2008-07-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

Luther had been home from the war nearly four months, now, and worked at
The Carnation Milk plant in Mt. Vernon where his wife, Jenny, worked.

This morning he was in the little Miller cafe next door to the post
Office waiting for the mail to be 'put up'. Sitting across from him in
The booth was his old friend, Fred Hill. They were discussing the war
Which was still going on in the Pacific Theatre. Recruitment posters
Still lined the walls of the little cafe.

Fred had not been in the service, because when the war started in 1941,
His parents had been in very poor health; his father with a bad heart,
And his mother with cancer. He was needed at home to care for them and
Operate the farm. His parents had since died, and the farm was now
His—his and Maggie's.

When Luther, Fred's best friend since childhood had flown over Miller in
The B-17, and when the bodies of the Hobbs boys and Billie Martin had
Been shipped home, and when Perry came home with hooks where his hands
Should have been, Fred felt guilty. He felt he had not done his part for
The war effort, and in his own eyes, he was diminished.

But today, it was Luther who seemed depressed. Fred asked him what was
Bothering him. 'You seem down in the dumps, today, Luther,' he said. 'I
Can't see what could be botherin' you. You came through the war without
A scratch, you got a beautiful wife and a baby on the way, you got a
Good job, what's the problem?'

'Jenny's mother is in bad shape,' said Luther, 'We're going to have to
Take her in, and with the baby coming we don't have the room.'

'Can't build a room on?' asked Fred.

'No lumber available,' said Luther. 'I've tried here, Mt. Vernon,
Springfield, Joplin, and there won't be any more shipments for the
Duration. Who knows how long that will be?'

'Tried Will's sawmill?'

'Yeah, but he just saws oak, and it's green. The baby'll be here in
August, and we can't wait for the lumber to dry. Besides, you can't
Build a whole room out of oak, anyway.'

'Wouldn't want to,' said Fred, 'Reckon the mail's up?'

'Probably.'

The two young men left the cafe and went into the post office next door.
Buford Patten, the postmaster, had raised the door to the service
Window, signaling that the mail was in the boxes. Luther and Fred
Retrieved their mail and left—Luther to work at Mt. Vernon, and Fred
Back to the farm.

That evening, Fred finished the milking and sat on the front porch with
Maggie. 'Days are getting longer,' he said, 'Man could get half a day's
Work done after five o'clock.'

'Better put your Pa's car up,' said Maggie, 'Radio says rain tonight.'

Fred's father had bought a new 1941 Ford just before his first heart
Attack, and the car was now Fred’s. He had built a new garage for it
Just before Christmas, and tonight he congratulated himself on getting
It built before the lumber ran out. He didn't even know it had, until
Luther told him this morning.

Fred drove the car into the new garage and latched the door. He walked
Back around the house to the front porch. Something was nagging at his
Mind, but he couldn't define it. He shook it off and sat on the porch
With Maggie until darkness fell. They could see heat lightning in the
West, and the wind started to rise. They went in the house to listen to
The news of the war on the radio, and shortly went to bed.

The next morning, Fred again drove his pickup into Miller for the mail.
The air was fresh and clear now, the rain having washed it clean. The
Sun was shining, and he felt good. When he reached the cafe, Luther was
There ahead of him.

'Still haven't found any lumber, I guess?'

'No, I asked everybody at work, and nobody knows of any. I don't know
What we'll do.'

Now the nagging in Fred's mind defined itself. 'I found the lumber for
You,' he said.

'You did? Where?' Luther was delighted.

'Fella I know. He'll let you have it free, you bein' a veteran and all.
He doesn't seem to want you to know who he is, so I'll have to haul it
In for you. It's good lumber, fir and pine, cut different lengths and
Got nails in it, but that's no problem. Tell you what, you get your
Foundation poured, and I'll bring you a pickup load everyday and help
You build it. We'll have it done before the baby gets here.'

'That's a friend for you,' Luther said to himself, as he drove to Mt.
Vernon. That evening he came home with sacks of cement in his pickup.

Luther dug and poured the foundation, and when it was ready for the
footings, he told Fred.

'Fine,' said Fred, 'I'll bring the first load over and be there when you
get home from work.'

Fred appeared every evening with a load of lumber, and the two men
worked until it was too dark to see. Sometimes Maggie came too, and the
women sat in the house listening to the radio or talking about babies or
Jenny's ailing mother, their sentences punctuated by the sound of the
hammers outside.

Over the next few weeks the new room took shape and was finished and
roofed. 'Where did you get the shingles?' asked Luther.

'Same fella,' answered Fred. 'He's got all kinds of stuff.'

Luther didn't push. Lots of older folks liked to help out the young
veterans anonymously. It was common.

It was done! The women fixed the room up inside, and moved Jenny's
mother in. The men went back about their business.

At supper one evening, Luther told Jenny he would like to do something
nice for Fred and Maggie, since they had been so helpful with the new
room. 'I know,' said Jenny, brightly, 'Maggie likes those big wooden
lawn chairs like Aunt Birdie has in her lawn. Why not get them a couple
of those?'

'Good idea,' agreed Luther, and the next Saturday he bought a couple at
Callison's hardware and loaded them into his pickup.

When he got out to Fred's farm, there was no one home, Fred and Maggie
having gone into Springfield, shopping. 'That's ok,' Luther thought,
'I'll just put them in the garage in case it rains.'

He drove around the house and into the driveway that led to Fred's new
garage.

The garage was gone. Only the foundation remained to show where it had been.

Luther put the chairs on the front porch and drove home, tears in his eyes.

The two men are now in their mid-seventies, and are still the best of
friends. They never spoke of the incident. How could they?

There was nothing to say.

CHOICES.

2008-07-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, 'If I were any better, I would be twins!'

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, 'I don't get it!'

'You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?'

He replied, 'Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or...you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood.'

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or...I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

'Yeah, right, it's not that easy,' I protested.

'Yes, it is,' he said. 'Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.'

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.

When I asked him how he was, he replied, 'If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?'

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

'The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter,' he replied. 'Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live.'

'Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?' I asked.

He continued, '...the paramedics were great.

They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action.'

'What did you do?' I asked.

'Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,' said John. 'She asked if I was allergic to anything 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity''

Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.'

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude...I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

You have two choices now:

01. Delete this

02. Forward it to the people you care about.

You know the choice I made.

Writers Block Challenge#42. - Leap -

2008-07-18T22:58:00.001-07:00

l have tried to be everything you wanted me to be.
l still hold your lessons within me.
For 37 yrs, l did all l was told to do.
ln work l gave as much as l could.
l was so happy when l pleased you both.
l felt secure yet fidgetty.
l worked,we saved, l put a deposit on a two bedroom flat.
l stayed in a mentally demanding job making payments on time.
l kept trying, but was falling behind.
l was too embarrassed to tell you.
l was failing, and there was no way out.
l needed something, l needed to be happy inbetween work.

Yes the 'greenman cafe' in malvern.
l shall go there after l finish my evening shift as a taxi despatcher.
lt was so pleasant.
Music, all kinds, after tenseness at work.
l got to know new ppl.
Sometimes after the cafe l would go out with them while they chilled out after working there, and just needed somewhere else to go instead of home,...just like me.

l was trying very hard to hold onto the parents disciplines, yet enjoying this new kind of lifestyle.
We started going to other places.
One of my favourite cabdrivers introduced me to Dutch Tilders, whom l had been wanting to meet since l was 27...
fate...
he introduced me, and l became a regular at every gig he did.

l was still only just holding my job at the taxi company..l really didnt want to be there, but house payments had to be made.
l started to get behind in payments.
l kept trying.
l did my job, and l did the music.
l fell into the musicians way of life.

Finally l just had to sell the flat,
and move on.
l lost my job too.
l was in two mind places...
do l keep trying and get another job, or do l take some time off and relax, and later get a job.
l was torn between, what l loved to do, which was the music, or go and try harder with the parents disciplines.

l stood very still.
l thought.
l looked backwards.
l looked forward.

l leaped out of discipline,and into the world of music.
l left everyone behind in my past,
and ran forward into my new life.

All U Need is Love...

2008-04-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

All U Need is Love...: For decades,

l thought love was on the outside.

l would give love ...

Then one day,

l wondered why it wasnt working...

Ding!

l had it the wrong way around.

BIRD FEEDER.

2008-04-25T17:41:00.000-07:00

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. Others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal. Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

Mother.

2008-04-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

MOTHER
This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece. Please
Read this at a slow pace, digesting every word and in
Leisure...do not hurry... This is a treasure...

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,
This is beautiful. For those of us who aren't, this is
Even more beautiful. For those who are moms, you'll love this.

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. 'Is
This the long way?' she asked. And the guide said: 'Yes, and the way is hard.
And you will be old before you reach the end of it... But
The end will be better than the beginning.'

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
Believe that anything could be better than these years. So she
Played with her children, and gathered flowers for
Them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and
The sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
'Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.'

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
Dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
Drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
'Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come.'

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
The children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children,' A little patience and we are there.'
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
They said, 'Mother, we would not have done it without you.'

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
At the stars and said, 'This is a better day than the last, for my
Children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage.
Today, I 've given them strength.'

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
The earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
And stumbled, and the mother said: 'Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.
' And the children looked and saw above the clouds
An everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the
Darkness. And that night the Mother said,
'This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God.'

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
The years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
Courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
For she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill,
And beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And
Mother said, 'I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end
Is better than the beginning, for my children can
Walk alone, and their children after them.'

And the children said, 'You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.'
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
Closed after her. And they said: 'We cannot see her
But she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She
Is a living presence.... ...'

Your Mother is always with you... She's the whisper
Of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach
In your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand
On your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives
Inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love
And your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
Separate you.

Not time, not space... Not even death!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MOTHERS &CHILDREN YOU KNOW.
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED...

Khalil Gibran.

2008-04-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

HE WAS BOTH A GREAT WRITER AND HIS ART WELL SEE FOR YOURSELF
Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) - Gibran / Jibran - Khalil or Kahlil, Arabic name Jubrãn Khalil Jubrãn

Lebanese-American philosophical essayist, novelist, mystical poet, and artist. In the 1960s Gibran's works influenced especially American popular culture; his most famous book, THE PROPHET (1923), has been a bestseller from the 1920s. Gibran believed that if a sensible way of living and thinking could be found, people would have mastery over their lives.

"The human heart cries out for help; the human soul implores us for deliverance; but we do not heed their cries, for we neither hear nor understand. But the man who hears and understands we call mad, and flee from him."

Khalil Gibran was born in Bechari (Bsharri), Lebanon, a mountain village of Maronite Christians. A talented child, he was modelling, drawing, and writing at an early age. Gibran's mother, Kamila, took her children to the United States; their father, Khalil, who owned a walnut grove, remained in Lebanon. The family settled first in Boston, where she earned living by selling laces and linen. Within a year she managed to save enough money to help her son Peter to open a small dry goods store.

Gibran returned to Lebanon in 1897 for two years to study Arabic literature in Beirut at al-Hikma College. Gibran's artistic talents was recognized and he was introduced to F. Holland Day, a photographer, who tutored him in art and literature. Through Day Gibran was given entrée to Boston society, where he acquired valuable contacts. Gibran's mother died of cancer when he was 20. His sister Marianna supported him while he established himself as a writer and painter. Gibran's most ardent benefactress was Mary Haskell, the headmistress of a progressive girl's school in Cambridge. She supported her protégé financially for most of his career and edited his English-language books.

In 1904 Gibran had his first art exhibition in Boston. His first book, AL-MUSIQA (1905) was about music. It was followed by two collections of short stories and a novelette in 1912. From 1908 to 1910 he studied art in Paris with August Rodin. In 1912 he settled in New York, where he devoted himself to writing and painting. Though concerned with the transcendental in his books, the basic subject in Gibran's art was naked human bodies, tenderly intertwined .

Gibran's first works were written in Arabic and are considered central to the development of modern Arabic literature. Gibran also wrote for journals published by the Lebanese and Arab communities in the U.S. From 1918 he wrote mostly in English and managed to revolutionize the language of poetry in the 1920s and 1930s. His first book for the publishing company Alfred Knopf was THE MADMAN (1918), a slim volume of aphorisms and parables written in biblical cadence somewhere between poetry and prose.

Usually Gibran used prophetic tone to condemn the evils that torment his homeland or threaten the humankind. His style, a combination of beauty and spirituality, became known as 'Gibranism'. "I am a stranger to myself. I hear my tongue speak, but my ears find that voice strange. I may see my hidden self laughing, crying, defiant frightened, and thus does my being become enamored of my being and thus my soul begs my soul for explanation. But I remain unknown, hidden, shrouded in fog, veiled in silence." (from 'The Poet') In 1920 he founded a society for Arab writers called "Aribitah" (the pen bond), and supported the struggle to revolutionize the classically conservative Arabic literature. A very important channel for new ideas was Al Magar, the first New York Arabic newspaper, that Gibran wrote for. Other influential writers included Mikha'il Nu'aima (1889-1988), Iliya Abu Madi (1889-1957), Nasib Arida (1887-1946), Nadra Haddad (1881-1950), and Ilyas Abu Sabaka (1903-47). Especially Mikha'il Nu'aima's critical writings paved way to new freedom in poetic expression.

Although Gibran was not a great poet in verse, and most of his writings in prose should not be regarded as "poetry", he opened doors to a new kind of creativity. He also illustrated a number of his books with his own drawings. Salma Khadra Jayyusi wrote in 1987 that Gibran's rhythm "fell on ears like magic, intoxicating in its frequent use of interrogations, repetitions, and the vocative; by a language which was at once modern, elegant, and original; and by an imagery that was evocative and imbued with a healthy measure of emotion. His vision of a world made sterile by dead mores and conventions but redeemable through love, good will, and constructive action deepened his readers' insights en enlightened their views of life and man."

Gibran died of liver disease, possibly accelerated by alcoholism, in New York on April 10, 1931. Upon his death, his body was shipped back to his hometown in Lebanon, where alongside his tomb The Gibran Museum was later established. In his will Gibran left all the royalties of his books to his native village.

"When the souls rise in the
light of their joy, my soul ascends glorified by the
dark of grief.
I am like you, Night! And when my morn comes, then
my time will end."

Gibran's best-known work is THE PROPHET, a partly autobiographical book of 26 poetic essays, which has been translated into over 20 languages. The Prophet, who has lived in a foreign city 12 years, is about to board a ship that will take him home. He is stopped by a group of people, whom he teaches the mysteries of life. The resulting 26 sermons are meant to emancipate the listeners. In the 1960s The Prophet became a counterculture guide and in the 1980s the message of spiritualism overcoming material success was adopted by Yuppies. Critics have not treated the book well. Its mystical poetry is frequently read at weddings even today. Gibran's other popular books include THE EARTH GODS (1931), a dialogue in free verse between three titans on the human destiny.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
(from The Prophet: Marriage)
HE STUDIED ART IN PARIS UNDER RODIN AND WE CAN SEE THE INFLUENCE

Glorious Morning Light...

2008-03-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

: The glorious morning light,
behind curtains red and green, some light can be seen.

From sleep and darkness,
l open them, to a wonderful morning.

The air is nice, and not too hot,
l look at the sky, blue with cloud dots.

All is serene,
Good weather to clean.

So happy within myself,
started dusting all my shelves.

Breakfast, toast and homemade plum jam,
and oolong tea, for the energy.
~
lsnt it always the way,
you get motivated,

and something stands in your way,
and you have to wait.

patience, patience.
l used this small energy l acquired for constructiveness,
and cleaned my front entrance to my home.

the weather had heated up,
sweat pouring from my brow.

inside my home,
order is starting,

and all are in line
ready to be done.

l have boiled water,
after reading about the drugs in all our water taps,
its ready for dehy...
~
far too hot to stand at the washing line,
leave it for later or some other time.

made sure my tummy was full
so l had the energy to do all inside.

made some sage bread,
made my sketi,
fan on full.
~
the day is passing
hope later l can finish what l started.

Night Walking - a poem -...

2008-03-14T22:49:00.000-07:00

Quietly she walks
Silence all around
Street lights glare
Blue, and Orange tinge
All so still.

Tis the evening walk
After a sensible feast
Walking shoes on
Head held high
Breathing corrected.

A slight hum
From traffic afar
A russel in a tree
A movement in a bush
Life going on as it should.

l walk for a mile
l turn back homeward
No sore parts
No aches and pains
A sensible walk is my gain.

Orgasm. a poem...

2008-02-27T20:43:00.000-08:00

The warm air on my face.
Rushing through fine hairs.
Moisture in the air touches your lips.

Slowly all senses awaken.
You're in another place.
Another world.

You're alone.
Allowed to feel .

You close your eyes.
Sore over high mountains and valleys.
Purple.

Out to the desert far away.
Back to green.

lf u love something, set it free...

2008-02-26T04:17:00.000-08:00

There was once a lonely girl who longed desperately for love. One day while she was walking in the woods she found two starving song birds. She took them home and put them in a small gilded cage. She nurtured them with love and the birds grew strong. Every morning they greeted her with a marvelous song. The girl felt great love for the birds. She wanted their singing to last forever.

One day the girl left the door to the cage open. The larger and stronger of the two birds flew from the cage. The girl watched anxiously as he circled high above her. She was so frightened that he would fly away and she would never see him again that as he flew close, she grasped at him wildly. She caught him in her fist. She clutched him tightly within her hand. Her heart gladdened at her success in capturing him. Suddenly she felt the bird go limp. She opened her hand stared in horror at the dead bird. Her desperate clutching love had killed him.

She noticed the other bird teetering on the edge of the cage. She could feel his great need for freedom. His need to soar into the clear, blue sky. She lifted him from the cage and tossed him softly into the air. The bird circled once, twice, three times. The girl watched delighted at the bird's enjoyment. Her heart was no longer concerned with her loss.

She wanted the bird to be happy. Suddenly the bird flew closer and landed softly on her shoulder. It sang the sweetest melody, she had ever heard.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tight, the best way to keep love is to give it -- WINGS!

Compassion...

2008-02-03T22:31:00.000-08:00

Sending love and compassion from my heart.
life for some, is so very hard.
We have enemies we dont even know;
and they, like us are just normal people.
l feel we are all too close together,
almost living in each others space.
l may look at you,
and not give u face,
but behind my blues eyes,
love is pouring out.
l shield myself with many walls.
afraid of people coming far too close,
l am an lsland,
yet l send u compassion and love
straight from my heart.
Sometimes we /l forget that others
lives are not easy also...
and to sit and think about people we
dont like and realise they have it bad
at times too.
So,,
OM MANI PADMA HUNG.

A DREAM...

2008-01-03T19:07:00.000-08:00

SHE HAD BEEN ASLEEP.
SHE WOKE TO MEN PUTTING UP BLINDS ON HER WEST AND EAST WINDOWS AND SHE WAS EXCITED.
NEXT MIN SHE WAS IN ANOTHER ROOM , AND HER FRONT DOOR WAS OPEN, AND ALL HER CLOTHES ON A RACK AT THE FRONT DOOR.
SHE COVERED HER LEGS FOR SHE WAS ONLY IN TEE SHIRT FROM SLEEP.
SHE LOOKED OUT , A MAN TALKED TO HER, THE STREET WAS BUSY WITH PPL WALKING UP AND DOWN, VERY BUSY,THE MAN TOLD HER WHERE SHE WAS AFTER SHE SAID SHE WAS IN CARLTON.
SHE WENT BACK INSIDE AND PUT ON HER GREEN OVER SHIRT .
THE DETECTIVES WERE THERE AND SHE DIDNT KNOW WHY.BUT THEY LAUGHED AT HER.THEY HAD A KEY TO THIS PLACE.
SHE TOOK A LONG WALK AFTER DRESSING, AND BACK AGAIN.THE WALLS WERE SCREAMING AT HER, AND SHE THREW ENERGY FROM HER HANDS AND YELLED SHUT UP,THE DETECTIVES JUST LOOKED AT HER.
HER THEN THREE NIPPLED MAN COULDNT BE THERE ANY LONGER AND RAN OUT FOR SPACE,.SOMEONE CAME AND LOOKED AT HER AND SILENTLY WHISPERED, HES KILLED A MAN.THE VOICES SHOWED THEMSELVES AND LAUGHED AND POKED AT HER .
SHE RAN WITH THE MAN, AND WAS TAKEN INTO A SEEDY PLACE NOT FAR AWAY, SHE MET THE MR BIG, AND THE SLEAZEBALLS OF THE CITY. AND THEN WAS TAKEN TO HER MAN,HE LAY THERE SHAKING AND ROLLING AND CONVORTING IN FEAR.
SHE IMMEDIATELY JUMPED ON HIM, AND BROUGHT HIM BACK TO NORMALITY.AFTER HE HAD RELAXED, SHE SAID SHOW HER THE DEAD MAN.
THEY WENT DOWN A DIRTY WOODEN HALLWAY, SHE HAD TO SIDESTEP WHATEVER THAT WAS ON THE FLOOR, GROSS.
THE FELLOW WHO WAS SHOWING HER, BROUGHT HER TO THE PLACE, AND POINTED DOWN.
THERE LAY A BODY WITH THE LIVER STICKING OUT OF THE BODY.
SHE POINTED TO THE MAN BETWEEN HIS EYES AND SAID, WHAT EVER U SEE IS BETWEEN U AND I.HIS FACE CHANGED AS HE COULD FEEL HER ENERGY, AND HE OBEYED.
NEXT MIN SHE IS SAYING GET HIM OFF ME , THE MAN WHO GOT THE FINGER, LOOKED IN AMAZEMENT, AND WAS SHOCKED AT WHAT SHE WAS CAPABLE OF, AND COULDNT MOVE FROM SHOCK.
SHE THEN RAN BACK TO HER MAN, AND THEY RAN BACK TO THE PLACE IN CARLTON.AND SHUT THE DOOR.STILL THE DETECTIVES KEPT COMING IN AND OUT.
SHE AND HE SAT QUIETLY, THINKING OF WHAT TO DO NEXT..
THEN I WOKE UP................................

NO, NOT I...

2007-12-07T04:15:00.000-08:00

Silently, silently; l go about my business; watching people rushing by, faces of stone and worry, cant help them, no not l.
l wonder about their dear old hearts, and how they pump with rush and anxieties; l cant help them, no, not l.
late, when all is quietening, l look out onto the street, and see so many so tired, and dead on their feet.
And for what reason l may ask, ...
..
ln a few days time, it will all be still, and getting up and around will take a lot of your tired will.
For what reason did u rush, then sit exhausted when all is hush.
...
My gift for you is my silent compassion mantra, your suffering l understand and feel, yet l cannot help, oh no not I.
l wish for all to see a silent christmas, not one of rush; one of hush, a thought for what it means, or, dont do it at all.
Hypocrits youll become, if you dont do and be true, to you alone.
Gifts of material, o so wrong, gifts of the heart always sing a song...

RESTLESS..

2007-12-03T17:44:00.000-08:00

Gooday...

this morning whilst trying to wake from a deep sedated sleep; l looked out of my front door at the green hedge in my sight.something in me yelled change.change ...u need it...lve spent many yrs slowing down on my last adventure which involved late nights, and some drugs dope.l hadnt realised until now how delusion they had made me be.now that lm clear ,lm becoming restless...............

after spending some time in the 360 and reading and making breakfast of egg sandwiches,l blogged this after reading a blogger called pet.................

Old old habits.

A yes person,

that was me. and prolly still is. we do, ' cos we really do want to help, so that others will feel better. we exhaust ourselves to oblivia, and then wish we hadnt done it, but would have felt guilty if we hadnt. someone once said to me, to be emotionally selfish, l thought, oh that sounds really bad. but its not. l bet u haven't been in touch with you for a long time,and youve been doing for others so long, that u dont know who u r. l thought, well maybe this person is right. sometimes we have to look after us instead of others all the time, they can look after themselves, and believe it or not, they do just fine most of them without u. so sit back, and have some you time. cos if u feel good, then when ppl really need you, you will be happier, healthier, and do a better job, 'cos youre not so emotionally tired. l myself only do for ppl now, if my heart is honest, then they get the truth, and not some tired old person who feels obligated..............

Writers Block Challenge#26 ( Lady Diz. )

2007-12-02T05:12:00.000-08:00

T'was a windy day in December,and poor Lady found herself being blown from limb to limb,and leaf to leaf, swirled and twirled until she was dizzy!Lady Diz was the rebellious bug in her family, and even though she had been told not to go out today, she disobeyed her family.Now she was lost, she couldnt see anything that resembled home,and couldnt hear her familys voices, she was scared and now hungry.She was a bit of an overeater at home, and had put on heaps of weight.Her brothers and sisters would all laugh at her trying to get off the leaf lol....they kept on calling her Bumblebee,Jumbo bee.Well, she was sick of being picked on, and thought she needed to go and find a place where no one would pick on her.Unfortunately she chose a windy day.She would never return...shes lost.The wind threw her everywhere, and then it died down a bit, and she parachuted onto seeded dandelion flower,her fate was set,this flower would breakaway on touch, and she would then be dropped to the ground.lt was only a matter of time before she fell, and there was no family there to pick her up and take her home.She sat clinging for her life, for what seemed like an eternity...

Poem - She Sleeps...

2007-11-29T02:32:00.000-08:00

here l go; down;down;down; into the bowels of darkness;through tunnels and bends,;down, down,down.light fading, green stench mold and slime,slippery.so so fast, my energies blown from my mind and body to be lost in the dark winding tunnels, to be found on the way back to the light.no thoughts, just falling...no mind. too tired to think.have been here several times before, its a waiting game.time just basic time.lts getting dark now.l cannot see.l cannot think.l cannot feel.l am a ragdoll,useless to myself.l must ride this roller coaster, and just go with it.
l cannot summon the host.she is asleep.she's here but down there, we have to wait.she has to wait.she sleeps.
life on the outside seems so far far away...almost non-existant.she reaches, but her arms are too weak.she falls limp.she sleeps.

Death...

2007-10-31T04:49:00.000-07:00

Death.

All youre feeling is grief

l didnt really know what life really was until my friend died...

l thought about it for a while

Looked at the sky

Thought

she will never see that again

l will

She will never feel water again

Or the sun

Or sounds

Smells

l will

She died so l could live..
.
Her dying changed my life.

Made me realise how wonderful it really is

Its a miracle

lm still here

That's the Positive l found in the Negative.
...

No-one's coming...written by myself -1994...

2007-10-28T04:00:00.000-07:00

NO ONE'S COMING...[ written '94 ]

Here l sit alone and frightened.
Frightened,
Knowing there's no-one coming.
Have to be strong for me.
Gotta be hard on myself.
There aint no-one else to crack the whip.

Eyes open.
God, another day.
Have to get things done.
Sometimes l think l should have stayed Stoned and useless.
Each day is different.
Straight one day.
Bent the next.
lt's push pull all the time.
One foot in front of the other.

Get my thoughts in order.
Eating makes me sick.
Men make me sick.
l have to pass them everyday.

l'm empty inside.
Have to concentrate and find things to do.
No future ahead for me and you.
False hope.
Still, l try to hold onto hope.

Here l sit frightened.

No-one's coming.

Lonely Street...written by myself -1994...

2007-10-28T03:54:00.000-07:00

written march 94...On Lonely Street.

There's lots of folks On lonely street.
Lots of Shops and Music and things;
On lonely street.
The morning breaks,The birds sing,The town comes alive,Everyone starting their day.lt's busy,On lonely street.

Faces you know,Smile, and say 'hello'-and walk on by,
Never stopping to talk.
On lonely street.

Beautiful days,Trees and Grass so green.
They're my company it seems.
When l walk down Lonely Street.

Nobody to talk with,
No-one to share life with,
No headspace to match mine,
Small talk all around,
lt's still;
On Lonely Street.

Spring Sleepy Head. written by myself -1989...

2007-10-28T03:48:00.000-07:00

Poem-'89..
SPRING SLEEPY HEAD.
Come on sleepy head
Unwind from the night before
lt's a great day ahead of you, now that spring is here.
We can step out of the grey days of winter
And glide into the warmth and pleasure of the sun.

People, Personalities,glow with each step
Dogs wag their tails
Cats lounge around all day
Flowers line the streets in array of pastels and bright colours.
Canarys sing their spring songs loudly.