Old Age, I decided, is a gift

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my parent!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.


I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ..... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)


MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART! MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A RAINBOW OF SMILES ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART FOREVER AND EVER!

RESTLESS..

Gooday...

this morning whilst trying to wake from a deep sedated sleep; l looked out of my front door at the green hedge in my sight.something in me yelled change.change ...u need it...lve spent many yrs slowing down on my last adventure which involved late nights, and some drugs dope.l hadnt realised until now how delusion they had made me be.now that lm clear ,lm becoming restless...............


after spending some time in the 360 and reading and making breakfast of egg sandwiches,l blogged this after reading a blogger called pet.................


Old old habits.

A yes person,

that was me. and prolly still is. we do, ' cos we really do want to help, so that others will feel better. we exhaust ourselves to oblivia, and then wish we hadnt done it, but would have felt guilty if we hadnt. someone once said to me, to be emotionally selfish, l thought, oh that sounds really bad. but its not. l bet u haven't been in touch with you for a long time,and youve been doing for others so long, that u dont know who u r. l thought, well maybe this person is right. sometimes we have to look after us instead of others all the time, they can look after themselves, and believe it or not, they do just fine most of them without u. so sit back, and have some you time. cos if u feel good, then when ppl really need you, you will be happier, healthier, and do a better job, 'cos youre not so emotionally tired. l myself only do for ppl now, if my heart is honest, then they get the truth, and not some tired old person who feels obligated..............