Friday, October 24, 2008
Good Morning...
Slowly l stir
eyes still closed
l make a move to the side of my bed
sleep persperation on said t shirt
l remove it from my body
eyes still closed.
Still breathing the sleep breathe
l reach for a dry t shirt
eyes still closed
l feel my feet
try to straighten
and bones find a balance
l open my eyes.
l wish l could see
through a huge window
fields of green
l look at blank walls.
l try to stand
balance best l can
one foot forward
then the next
the light of day
coming thru the bathroom window
makes me cringe.
l sleep walk
to the kitchen
automatically find my cup
fill it with water
from the tap
fill coffee maker
my coffee jar
is almost empty
l reach for the new one
twas a larger packet
l bought on special
awkwardly l fill said jar
l try to be tidy
still half asleep
eyes are open
just.
the coffee is perking
the smell is great
looking forward
to the first cup.
back at the kitchen bench
l sleepily fill the coffee jar
from the family pack
l miss a few times
sigh...
just keep doing it lynn
youll get there.
coffee is perked
l pour the blackness
take a sniff...
sleepily back to the bench
time for the powdered milk
l spill that too.
takes a deep breath
looks at my mess
vows to clean up later.
with coffee in hand
l walk balance to my favourite chair
sit and enjoy.
Who am l ?
lve always done people jobs.
l was always good at my jobs.
l wasnt afraid of people.
l wasnt afraid of the boss.
l was afraid of losing my job,
which happened frequently,
cos l stood up to others.
And that means the boss too.
My parents were strict,
and yet loving.
l worked for bosses until l was around 22.
l had had enough, and truelly didnt
understand why l kept being sacked.
Well, u say, it was my attitude...
of course it was, but l didnt know why
l had that attitude.
- at the time -...
Finally, my mother and l decided l could do
a driving job.
this meant working for myself.
yes, lm capable.
l worked a courier van around Melbourne for 3 yrs.
then moved onto driving a taxi around melb.
l lasted in the taxi business about 17 yrs.
then into the job on the other side - despatcher-.
this radio job lasted about seven yrs,
then computers came in and l lost my job.
( l think l kept this job a long time, cos the job
consists of telling ppl where to go....lol.)
Now l was on the dole.
l had just bought a house.
l had no job, and only welfare to keep me.
l lost the house.
l decided there and then, l wasnt going to work again.
Some of the drivers l had gotten to know while driving,
are musicians,
l started going out with them at night.
There was one singer in particular l always wanted to meet.
one of those drivers knew that person.
He (lan ferguson ) took me to the Dutch Tilders gig...
l was out and about at night with musos.
As a child l was always singing.
yes u guessed it, it was the start of my musical era.
During this time, l was slowly wearing down.
On the dole, l didnt care, and neither did anyone else.
The dr in a few yrs to come, put my on an anti depressant,
and a muscle relaxent.
l did calm down, and found that l really couldnt work,
and being the kind of person who didnt admit freely to
failure, l asked the dr if l could go on a pension.
He could see that l was just tired,and couldnt deal with things.
He kindly did allow that.
To this day, lm still on those medications.
and the pension.
l guess l just got what l call, ' peopled out '.
l dont go amongst ppl now unless l have to.
Oh god, lve Raved again, and lm not even bent.
now what was the question...oh yes...
...
Sagittarius:
You have less fear of strangers than most people and today brings you even farther out into the world! It's a great day to strike up random conversations with strangers and see where they lead.
...
My fear of ppl...yes that was the point of this rave...
l guess lm lucky lve not had a fear of ppl.
lve always been able to look after myself.
l didnt have a fear, but l have come thru life with an irritation factor.
l dont fear, l get angry, or used to.
l wouldnt know now, cos lm not out there anymore...and glad lol.
Even driving the taxi at night,
l had no fear.
lf anything, l cared for the ppl in my taxi..
strange hey.
l had a following of ppl who only wanted me.
they said l was 'more human?'
Anyway, to this day, l dont have a fear of ppl.
l do have a fear of losing the roof over my head,
and my wheels is all...
l guess the moral of the story is ..
do not fear, get angry?
no?
yes?
well how about , dont get angry , get even.?
no yes.
none of the above...
l just plodded along being natural.
l was always good at my jobs.
l wasnt afraid of people.
l wasnt afraid of the boss.
l was afraid of losing my job,
which happened frequently,
cos l stood up to others.
And that means the boss too.
My parents were strict,
and yet loving.
l worked for bosses until l was around 22.
l had had enough, and truelly didnt
understand why l kept being sacked.
Well, u say, it was my attitude...
of course it was, but l didnt know why
l had that attitude.
- at the time -...
Finally, my mother and l decided l could do
a driving job.
this meant working for myself.
yes, lm capable.
l worked a courier van around Melbourne for 3 yrs.
then moved onto driving a taxi around melb.
l lasted in the taxi business about 17 yrs.
then into the job on the other side - despatcher-.
this radio job lasted about seven yrs,
then computers came in and l lost my job.
( l think l kept this job a long time, cos the job
consists of telling ppl where to go....lol.)
Now l was on the dole.
l had just bought a house.
l had no job, and only welfare to keep me.
l lost the house.
l decided there and then, l wasnt going to work again.
Some of the drivers l had gotten to know while driving,
are musicians,
l started going out with them at night.
There was one singer in particular l always wanted to meet.
one of those drivers knew that person.
He (lan ferguson ) took me to the Dutch Tilders gig...
l was out and about at night with musos.
As a child l was always singing.
yes u guessed it, it was the start of my musical era.
During this time, l was slowly wearing down.
On the dole, l didnt care, and neither did anyone else.
The dr in a few yrs to come, put my on an anti depressant,
and a muscle relaxent.
l did calm down, and found that l really couldnt work,
and being the kind of person who didnt admit freely to
failure, l asked the dr if l could go on a pension.
He could see that l was just tired,and couldnt deal with things.
He kindly did allow that.
To this day, lm still on those medications.
and the pension.
l guess l just got what l call, ' peopled out '.
l dont go amongst ppl now unless l have to.
Oh god, lve Raved again, and lm not even bent.
now what was the question...oh yes...
...
Sagittarius:
You have less fear of strangers than most people and today brings you even farther out into the world! It's a great day to strike up random conversations with strangers and see where they lead.
...
My fear of ppl...yes that was the point of this rave...
l guess lm lucky lve not had a fear of ppl.
lve always been able to look after myself.
l didnt have a fear, but l have come thru life with an irritation factor.
l dont fear, l get angry, or used to.
l wouldnt know now, cos lm not out there anymore...and glad lol.
Even driving the taxi at night,
l had no fear.
lf anything, l cared for the ppl in my taxi..
strange hey.
l had a following of ppl who only wanted me.
they said l was 'more human?'
Anyway, to this day, l dont have a fear of ppl.
l do have a fear of losing the roof over my head,
and my wheels is all...
l guess the moral of the story is ..
do not fear, get angry?
no?
yes?
well how about , dont get angry , get even.?
no yes.
none of the above...
l just plodded along being natural.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
