NO, NOT I...

Silently, silently; l go about my business; watching people rushing by, faces of stone and worry, cant help them, no not l.
l wonder about their dear old hearts, and how they pump with rush and anxieties; l cant help them, no, not l.
late, when all is quietening, l look out onto the street, and see so many so tired, and dead on their feet.
And for what reason l may ask, ...
..
ln a few days time, it will all be still, and getting up and around will take a lot of your tired will.
For what reason did u rush, then sit exhausted when all is hush.
...
My gift for you is my silent compassion mantra, your suffering l understand and feel, yet l cannot help, oh no not I.
l wish for all to see a silent christmas, not one of rush; one of hush, a thought for what it means, or, dont do it at all.
Hypocrits youll become, if you dont do and be true, to you alone.
Gifts of material, o so wrong, gifts of the heart always sing a song...

RESTLESS..

Gooday...

this morning whilst trying to wake from a deep sedated sleep; l looked out of my front door at the green hedge in my sight.something in me yelled change.change ...u need it...lve spent many yrs slowing down on my last adventure which involved late nights, and some drugs dope.l hadnt realised until now how delusion they had made me be.now that lm clear ,lm becoming restless...............


after spending some time in the 360 and reading and making breakfast of egg sandwiches,l blogged this after reading a blogger called pet.................


Old old habits.

A yes person,

that was me. and prolly still is. we do, ' cos we really do want to help, so that others will feel better. we exhaust ourselves to oblivia, and then wish we hadnt done it, but would have felt guilty if we hadnt. someone once said to me, to be emotionally selfish, l thought, oh that sounds really bad. but its not. l bet u haven't been in touch with you for a long time,and youve been doing for others so long, that u dont know who u r. l thought, well maybe this person is right. sometimes we have to look after us instead of others all the time, they can look after themselves, and believe it or not, they do just fine most of them without u. so sit back, and have some you time. cos if u feel good, then when ppl really need you, you will be happier, healthier, and do a better job, 'cos youre not so emotionally tired. l myself only do for ppl now, if my heart is honest, then they get the truth, and not some tired old person who feels obligated..............

Writers Block Challenge#26 ( Lady Diz. )

T'was a windy day in December,and poor Lady found herself being blown from limb to limb,and leaf to leaf, swirled and twirled until she was dizzy!Lady Diz was the rebellious bug in her family, and even though she had been told not to go out today, she disobeyed her family.Now she was lost, she couldnt see anything that resembled home,and couldnt hear her familys voices, she was scared and now hungry.She was a bit of an overeater at home, and had put on heaps of weight.Her brothers and sisters would all laugh at her trying to get off the leaf lol....they kept on calling her Bumblebee,Jumbo bee.Well, she was sick of being picked on, and thought she needed to go and find a place where no one would pick on her.Unfortunately she chose a windy day.She would never return...shes lost.The wind threw her everywhere, and then it died down a bit, and she parachuted onto seeded dandelion flower,her fate was set,this flower would breakaway on touch, and she would then be dropped to the ground.lt was only a matter of time before she fell, and there was no family there to pick her up and take her home.She sat clinging for her life, for what seemed like an eternity...

Poem - She Sleeps...

here l go; down;down;down; into the bowels of darkness;through tunnels and bends,;down, down,down.light fading, green stench mold and slime,slippery.so so fast, my energies blown from my mind and body to be lost in the dark winding tunnels, to be found on the way back to the light.no thoughts, just falling...no mind. too tired to think.have been here several times before, its a waiting game.time just basic time.lts getting dark now.l cannot see.l cannot think.l cannot feel.l am a ragdoll,useless to myself.l must ride this roller coaster, and just go with it.
l cannot summon the host.she is asleep.she's here but down there, we have to wait.she has to wait.she sleeps.
life on the outside seems so far far away...almost non-existant.she reaches, but her arms are too weak.she falls limp.she sleeps.

Death...

Death.

All youre feeling is grief

l didnt really know what life really was until my friend died...

l thought about it for a while

Looked at the sky

Thought

she will never see that again

l will

She will never feel water again

Or the sun

Or sounds

Smells

l will

She died so l could live..
.
Her dying changed my life.

Made me realise how wonderful it really is

Its a miracle

lm still here

That's the Positive l found in the Negative.
...

No-one's coming...written by myself -1994...

NO ONE'S COMING...[ written '94 ]

Here l sit alone and frightened.
Frightened,
Knowing there's no-one coming.
Have to be strong for me.
Gotta be hard on myself.
There aint no-one else to crack the whip.

Eyes open.
God, another day.
Have to get things done.
Sometimes l think l should have stayed Stoned and useless.
Each day is different.
Straight one day.
Bent the next.
lt's push pull all the time.
One foot in front of the other.

Get my thoughts in order.
Eating makes me sick.
Men make me sick.
l have to pass them everyday.

l'm empty inside.
Have to concentrate and find things to do.
No future ahead for me and you.
False hope.
Still, l try to hold onto hope.

Here l sit frightened.

No-one's coming.

Lonely Street...written by myself -1994...

written march 94...On Lonely Street.

There's lots of folks On lonely street.
Lots of Shops and Music and things;
On lonely street.
The morning breaks,The birds sing,The town comes alive,Everyone starting their day.lt's busy,On lonely street.

Faces you know,Smile, and say 'hello'-and walk on by,
Never stopping to talk.
On lonely street.

Beautiful days,Trees and Grass so green.
They're my company it seems.
When l walk down Lonely Street.

Nobody to talk with,
No-one to share life with,
No headspace to match mine,
Small talk all around,
lt's still;
On Lonely Street.

Spring Sleepy Head. written by myself -1989...

Poem-'89..
SPRING SLEEPY HEAD.
Come on sleepy head
Unwind from the night before
lt's a great day ahead of you, now that spring is here.
We can step out of the grey days of winter
And glide into the warmth and pleasure of the sun.

People, Personalities,glow with each step
Dogs wag their tails
Cats lounge around all day
Flowers line the streets in array of pastels and bright colours.
Canarys sing their spring songs loudly.